Check this guy out. I've seen him on campus a few times and quite frankly, I worship this dude. We'll call him Hat Guy. Hat Guy wears a skin tight white tee and a different flatbill incredibly low on his forehead every day. Every. Single. day. You know how in cartoons the characters always wear their same clothing no matter what episode it is? Its like that. You might be wondering why I worship this guy if he is such a fucking idiot. I worship Hat Guy because he still manages to have a pretty cute girlfriend despite his retardation. The only way anything besides an African elephant would be attracted to this guy is if he has a 12 foot dick. That is the only way. He must make a horse's junk look as small as that asian guy's from The Hangover. There is seriously no other way that is fathomable that he has a good looking girl. If I've said it once I've said it a million times, if i ever meet someone with a 12 foot dick I will change religions and create a shrine dedicated to him. And I have finally met him and his name is Hat Guy. Besides being a huge queerish tool, there is still one bad thing about being Hat Guy. And that is the fact he wears his hat SO LOW ON HIS FOREHEAD. Like his hat literally covers the entire top half of his head. I would hate to see his tanlines at the end of the summer. Wait, I think I actually found a picture of him after he got badly sunburned on Spring Break. Here it is:
I know. I feel bad for him too. If you ever see him on campus be sure to say "Oh whats up hat guy?" It makes me smile.
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