What is the NCAA thinking?

So today has been a typical sit inside and watch ESPN until my eyes fall out day, and I have heard some troubling news. The NCAA has been thinking about expanding the greatest three weeks of sports into 96 teams instead of 64. This is probably the worst idea anyone has ever had. Literally ever. Sure we would see some upsets, but lets get serious here, if a 16 seed has never beaten a 1 seed, how is a 24 seed or whatever the hell it is going to beat a 1 seed? The last thing I want to do is spend the first two days watching to Banana Slugs from University of California Santa Cruz get absolutely shit on by Villanova or some other powerhouse. If the whole 96 team shit happens than UNC would've made the tourny this year and got raped so bad Roy Williams would crawl back into the shithole Chapel Hill and cry himself to sleep until Tyler Hansborough comes to rescue, pulls a Jason White, and plays 30 more seasons.

The only good thing that can come out of 96 teams making the tournament is when fraterberry, lounge, and I create our own college and make the tourny. I will dunk on a mother fucker, especially if its a scrub from some school like UCSC.

HoW AnnOYiNg iS iT tO tYPe iN EbONicS?

The Question of the Day: Do you want to commit suicide when you read a facebook post, or status that is typed in either ebonics or alternating uppercase and lowercase?





Does it really take that much more time to make your sentences sound educated, or would you rather just sit on your computer and see what comes out. It makes no sense to me how in any way it pleases you to type like you have the education of a 1st grader. Here is a perfect example of a status that drives me insane, "jus gived muhselfz a noze bleedz!!!!@~". I am confused by this, does that mean you gave yourself a nose bleed by bashing your face against the keyboard to type your english essay 5 minutes earlier? Or does it mean you are so uneducated that you walked down the street in incoming traffic because you couldnt read the street signs? Abbreviations and new spelling for your word choice is probably the highlight of your day, not to mention definantly the most challenging. Next time I see anything of this sort pop up in my news feed, I am getting their address and sending them Hooked on Phonics.

Im sure now that I pointed this out, if you ever see either of these again on facebook or anywhere else then your day will be ruined. To end this blog, I would like to add my all-time favorite facebook post to the end of it. This was posted a few weeks ago, but I have recovered it.

"marquief be goal tendin? das just as fucked up as kfc be servin kentucky grilled chicken! dis be kfc, i ain't see no kgc! get outta here!"- The genius herself

I Despise Fast Food Commercials

Have you ever seen this stupid Taco Bell commercial where the customer asks for Denise The Cashier that he thinks is giving him a special discount? That is seriously the creepiest thing I have ever seen. If I worked at Taco Bell and some sketchy douchebag 35 year old specifically asked for my 22 year old female co-worker, I would be so certain they banged every night that I would ask him how the blowjobs were. Right in front of the register. I would just ask him after his order. "So you'll have a Triple Layer Nacho and a Crunchwrap Supreme? Ok great. By the way, does Denise give good head? I've been trying to make a move on her for a while and I'm wondering whether its worth it."

Besides wondering how good Denise's blowjobs are, another thing on my mind is where the hell all these fast food restraunts are that have these good looking employees. Every single McDonald's Subway, Pizza Hut and Taco Bell commercial always has some deece slampiece worthy female working the register and cooking the food. Who do these idiot advertisers think they are fooling? I'm at fucking McDonald's, not Hooters. The typical McDonalds employee looks more like this:
I feel like it is false advertising when I see some babe working the register in one of those commercials. Either that or these restraunts with these deece Bettys are far, far away from where I live. Oh well. I'm hungry. I'm gonna go to the nearest Taco Bell and ask the cashier if I can have the best looking female employee take my order and see if they don't get creeped the fuck out.

Who is Kate Gosselin?

Kate Gosselin is the bitch from Jon and Kate Plus 8. She somehow became famous because her and her husband banged like rabbits and then he cheated on her with more bitches than Tiger. It should've ended right there. This lady should have never been heard from again. But yet everytime I get on the damn internet I see some ridiculous post about her. How is she still famous? She has zero talent, no attractiveness, and is a downright bitch. Now she is on dancing with the stars somehow with the likes of the hottest girl alive Erin Andrews. Its shit like this that makes me hate famous people. All you got to do is have 80 kids and have your husband cheat on you and BOOM your famous. You know what? Standing offer right now any girl that wants to become famous I will knock you up with a ton of kids and than cheat on you and two weeks later you'll be on "Dancing With the Stars". Now that is an offer that no one can refuse.

Should this guy get a ticket or a trophy?

"Police say they charged a Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen trying to resuscitate a long-dead opossum along a highway. State police Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal Thursday along Route 36 in Oliver Township, about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh.
The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance. He says another saw Wolfe attempting to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
Levier says the animal already had been dead a while."

As many of you saw in the University Daily Kansas, this superhero Donald Wolfe was trying to do one of his duties to the community and was only to be shut down by the cops. How does this guy get a ticket for public intoxication for trying to revive a opossum? If I was a the President of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), I would go bail this genius out of all legal trouble and turn over my position to him immediately. If this guy doesnt come out of this situation with millions, then he is simply not the superhero that I think he is. Seriously, this guy has some serious balls to give mouth to mouth to a opossum. I dont care if your blacked out worse than Scott on a normal voyage on the town, you have to be a champ to touch one of those things with a 80 foot pole. That thing has probably been eating stuff worse than Cindy's leftovers from months ago. If this guy is not announcing the next Grammys then I have no idea what the world is coming to. As for PETA, you guys have to be retarded to not make Donald Wolfe your spokesman.

What the shit is the infatuation with hanging out on Wescoe Beach???

Okay this has been bothering me for quite some time. What the hell are people doing hanging out on Wescoe Beach. For those of you who don't go to KU, Wescoe Beach is the area out front of the ugliest academic building the world has seen since Blue Valley Central or whatever the hell that bomb shelter is called. The great Frank Lloyd Wright is probably turning in his grave to the thought that this building was constructed by some sort of architect. If I've said it once I have said it a thousand times, only three people should be in charge of constructing buildings on earth. They are George W. Bush, myself, and Michael J. Fox's character in "Teen Wolf".

The ugliness of the building is not even the beginning of it. Looking out front of what should be a fucking parking structure you see the biggest group of GDI citizens possible. For heavens sake I saw a 70 year old man bumming scags off of two dungeons and dragons fans. Is there nothing better to do with your time in between class than sit outside of a school building and people watch? I personally don't go to class that much, but when I do I sure as hell don't sun tan out front of what looks like a mental institution.

If I could give advice to these people I would say one thing, get friends, or at least a hobby. These can range from basket weaving to dodgeball, I don't really care. Just find something to do and stop clogging up my god damn walkway for those few times I do make it to class.

Does this outfit get this guy laid?

Check this guy out. I've seen him on campus a few times and quite frankly, I worship this dude. We'll call him Hat Guy. Hat Guy wears a skin tight white tee and a different flatbill incredibly low on his forehead every day. Every. Single. day. You know how in cartoons the characters always wear their same clothing no matter what episode it is? Its like that. You might be wondering why I worship this guy if he is such a fucking idiot. I worship Hat Guy because he still manages to have a pretty cute girlfriend despite his retardation. The only way anything besides an African elephant would be attracted to this guy is if he has a 12 foot dick. That is the only way. He must make a horse's junk look as small as that asian guy's from The Hangover. There is seriously no other way that is fathomable that he has a good looking girl. If I've said it once I've said it a million times, if i ever meet someone with a 12 foot dick I will change religions and create a shrine dedicated to him. And I have finally met him and his name is Hat Guy. Besides being a huge queerish tool, there is still one bad thing about being Hat Guy. And that is the fact he wears his hat SO LOW ON HIS FOREHEAD. Like his hat literally covers the entire top half of his head. I would hate to see his tanlines at the end of the summer. Wait, I think I actually found a picture of him after he got badly sunburned on Spring Break. Here it is:

I know. I feel bad for him too. If you ever see him on campus be sure to say "Oh whats up hat guy?" It makes me smile.

College Athlete Pimps

I wasn't one hundred percent sure one what I should start this blog off with, but I figured I'd talk about something thats been on my mind lately. How many slampieces are getting slain by star athletes such as Tyler Hansborough back in his reign. Let's take a look at some of the past all stars of downing poon.

Matt Barkley- I mean this guy might be the greatest of all time. He is a freshman starting at USC at quarterback. If this guy had a serious case of the downs I would still guarantee he got laid 5 of of 7 nights a week.

Tim Tebow- If you actually believe Tim Tebro is a virgin like he claims than you've been smoking more reefer than Daniel Brinker on 4/20. I would even go as far to say this guy was getting blowjobs 3 times a day back in his freshman year when he was a backup to Chris Leak.

Ali Faroukhamesh- This is a relative unknown, but since I currently am attending the prestigious University of Kansas, this guy is more well known than the girl that gave an un-named brother head on Wescoe Beach. If you think he didn't get his pants ripped off the minute he returned to that shithole Northern Iowa than you probably should just hang yourself this instant. I don't care that this dude is most likely a terrorist, he has had the busiest two weeks of his life, and possibly anyones.

Last but not least the dark horse of them all

Adam Morrison- If you don't follow sports you may recognize Morrison from his Geico commercials. Ex- shooting guard from Gonzaga this guy averaged about 80 points a game during his final season. Not to mention his mexistache is still considered to be a top 5 facial hair of all time. I mean there literally may not have been an uglier man on earth, and I would still bet my left nut this guy got more ass than Ron Jeremy and Peter North combined. This guys dick probably fell off because he got laid so much.

It's just not fair for guys like you and I. Like can we at least get blowjobs on the reg? If I've said it once I have said it probably a million times, no matter how ugly you are if you hit one big shot in your entire career, you can throw your entire game spitting out the window because it will never be needed again. These guys could have a body like mine and still bang the best of the best.

Welcome to Icebox Blogs

Welcome to Icebox Blogs

This blog is meant for a serious of random rants about anything from Sports, to girls, to JM Blowing dick. Pretty much whatever we feel like posting will be posted.

So like Marvin Gaye, Let's Get it On.