51 year old goes for 15 year old?!?!

Ladies and Gentlemen I give you Lawrence Taylor. Considered one of the best ever at what he does, he actually is in the Hall of Fame. And no I am not talking about sacking the shit out of pussy QBs. I am talking about raping girls that are more than 30 years younger than you. How lame is your life when your an NFL legend, and you have to go around hitting on girls that don't even have their drivers license. Dude I get it, your dick doesn't work very well anymore, and that is why your not getting even 30 year old ass. But god damn dude you actually tried to slay the hairless box of a 15 year old slampiece? There are a few things wrong with this whole approach. For one your not the most attractive guy Lawrence, I mean that beard is cool and all, but we all kind of got sick of it once Tom Hanks rocked it in Castaway. Two, your 50 years old. I am certainly not one to hate on old balls trying to get their dick sucked, but once you hit 50 if you don't own Playboy than your for sure not getting much ass. And three, I guarantee that Taylor tried to use the whole "I am a famous football player so we should head back to my place and go ass to mouth" approach. But this is a fucking 15 year old girl, she doesn't know who the fuck you are. With the combination of all three of these problems, this girl obviously said no, and Lawrence wasn't to happy about it. This resulted in an attempted rape of epic proportions. This guy made 300 pound offensive lineman his bitch, so i can't even fathom how this was only a rape attempt and not a successful rape. Makes you kind of question if he has just lost that swagger.

Get your shit together Lawrence, and next time don't try to go ass to mouth the first time.

Does This Look Like the Face of A Guy Who Would Punch You in the Face for Dancing With His Ex Girlfriend?

There are two types of people in this world. Those that behave like a normal human being, and then there are those that go around fighting people who dance with their ex girlfriends. Guess which one this guy is? Now, for his own sake of privacy, I am not going to announce that his real name is Alex Ward, so we'll just call him Psycho. Listen up Psycho. I know you're really sad that some girl that thinks you're insane wants to go out and have a good time without you, but that gives you no reason to bring it out on me. The worst part about this how much of a pussy you are. Psycho, if anyone else had punched me in the face 3 times in the exact same spot like you did, then i would have some damn broken facial bones or a concussion or something. Apparently your estrogen levels are so high that you hit me 3 times in the same spot with a closed fist and I end up walking out with a cut and a black eye. Comon, man. My bones are not even strong. I fucking hate milk. If someone had shot me with a NERF gun 3 times in the same spot i think it would've been more devastating than your fists of fury. So after you pay my medical bill and go to jail for your 3 counts of battery, come find me and we'll have a boxing match. Yeah, I have about 4 inches and 30 pounds on you, but don't worry: you have the element of surprise, judging by how you blindside people at the Hawk without warning and whatnot. We'll see how it ends up. Oh yeah, and try not to cry when the love of your life that hates you ends up cheering on my side of the ring.