Petition to ban Rainforest Cafe from poisoning my life any longer

Ok so I realize that fraterberry and I blog about alot of stupid shit and rant quite often. But seriously this may the most important post of all time. Rainforest Cafe is hands down the worst restaurant on planet earth. And probably second worst anywhere else in the galaxy. Heres a few reasons why.

For one the food blows dick. Not in the Jenna Jameson hot way, but in the Susan Boyle fucked up way. Don't know who Susan Boyle is? Google her. Shes the bitch that is in jail now for killing people on spot for seeing her. Cankles for miles. Anyways, the food is straight up awful. Who likes the food at Rainforest Cafe? Literally no one. You go their for the atmosphere, which I won't lie is promising at first. Until you taste the food and realize you might as well fly to the actual rainforest and eat frog shit because youll pay alot less for it and still get the same thing. 15 dollars for dinosaur shaped chicken fingers?I am not paying 15 dollars for chicken fingers unless their shaped like Jesus' dick and Mary Magadalenes tits.

Another thing that really pisses me off is that when a parent finally musters up the courage to enter into what she knows will be a horrible night at the Rainforest Cafe, it ends up during into a 24 hour affair. If you have claim you have entered this disgusting bomb shelter and left within a calender year then I will hit you in the nuts and abort all your children because thats bullshit. You know what? I want a fucking job at the Rainforest Cafe because I know I will get paid 8 bucks and hour to act like I am working. No one ever gets food on time. Never. The only reason this place is still in business is because retarded children bitch at their dumbass parents to take them to eat at a fun restaurant. These kids don't know better. They see a 25 foot chipanzee hanging from the roof of a building and instantly their 5 year old dicks get harder than a diamond in an ice storm.

Running this establishment should be illegal. It is miles worse than murder. At least when someone kills someone they work a little and maybe enjoy it. Rainforest cafe doesn't cause any enjoyment and at the end of your 6 week trek through a fucking fake jungle you would rather suck 20 bleeding dicks in a an alley and contract aids then spend one more minute around a bunch a porch monkeys.

If my children ever ask to go to Rainforest Cafe i swear to god im burning their treehouse down and saying "you know how you feel right now?" "Thats how I feel everytime you come up with an idea as dumb as that. So fuck off and no your not setting foot in that building. Ever."